Wiccan/Pagan Parenting


What You'll Find Here

Children and Spirituality

The Elements

The Moon

The Sabbats

Crafts

Learning about Ritual

Rites Of Passage

Recommended Books

Being a parent is one of the most wonderful (and most challenging) tasks a person can ever undertake. Being Pagan and a parent makes this challenging task even more so, due to the differences in the way we look at things as compared to much of the rest of society. My intention, when beginning to put together this page, was NOT to try to tell anyone how to raise their child, but rather, to give parents a few ideas on how to integrate being Wiccan (Pagan) with raising your child in the manner best suited for both of you.

Many people view their children as smaller extensions of themselves. That is understandable since the child is a physical manifestation of the love shared between you and your partner. But never forget that your child is a person too; an individual with their own thoughts and feelings and their own way of looking at things. They have opinions of their own and may have views that differ from yours on some things. This is not something to penalize. In fact, as a parent, we should encourage the child to think for him or herself.

Treat your child as you would want to be treated. Guide them, don't Mold them. Teach them by example and let them see the light of the God and Goddess shine through you. Help them discover the wonders of nature and the joys of life. But do not shelter them over much from the sorrows, for how else will they come to learn about the cycles of life. Children who are encouraged to think for themselves, grow up to be adults who do think for themselves. Children who are listened to, grow up to be adults who listen to others. Children who are loved unconditionally grow up to be adults with the ability to love unconditionally. Children who are given the right tools grow up to be adults that make the right choices.


Children and Spirituality

Children are naturally spiritual and if left to their own devices, develop intriguing ideas about religion and spirituality. As stated earlier, your child may have different ideas than you do... different views on things. This extends to all facets of life, including our belief system. The most beneficial thing my parents ever did for me was allow me to investigate all forms of spirituality and even encourage me to do so. They would listen intently when I would come home all excited about some new piece of information I had found out about whichever religion I was looking into at the time. They never stifled my spiritual search and I will be forever grateful to them for that freedom. I believe there are a few things that parents can do to help their children grow up well-adjusted and with a solid spiritual foundation.

Encourage them to explore spirituality as far they are comfortable doing so.

Help them... If they want to learn about Catholicism, go to Mass with them; if they want to explore Judaism, help them find a temple, if they want to investigate Druidry, help them look for a Grove; etc.

Listen to them. Really listen.

Don't preach religion at them... any religion.

Teach them by example.

Let them see the light of the God and Goddess shine through you. Help them discover the wonders of nature and the joys of life.

Trust the God and Goddess to lead your child to the path they need to walk.

Perhaps, as parents, the best thing we can do for our children is to provide them with a good foundation and give them the freedom to learn and grow (and yes, make mistakes) so they can make a well informed decision about what spiritual path is right for them when that time comes.

 

The Elements

As any Wiccan knows, the Elements are the building blocks of life... those substances from which everything is created are vital to our existence. So, it is important that our children understand the Elements, if they are to learn about Mother Earth and the Wiccan/Pagan path. When trying to help your child understand any of the elements, it is important to help them become one with that element. Have your child close their eyes and think about the facets of the element as you read the exercises with them.


Air is one of the things our body needs to live. We breathe it in and it feeds our bodies with oxygen. We breathe it out and it removes toxins from us. Air is the wind around us... it carries the raindrops and lifts the birds when they fly. It helps the scent get from the flower to our nose. It can be a quiet and calm breeze or a noisy and stormy wind. Try to see visualize (see it, smell it, feel it, taste it, and touch it in your mind) each of the following... this will help you connect with the element of Air...

    A gentle breeze ruffling your hair.

    A strong, icy wind making the snow drift.

    The smell of freshly baked cookies as you walk in the house.

    A kite pulling on the string as the wind tries to carry it away.

    Fall leaves floating to the ground.

    The wind blowing on your wet skin after you climb out of the pool.

    Hold your breath for as long as you can. How does it make you feel? How does it feel when you breathe in after holding your breath?

Experiments with Air...

Feeling the energy of Air - While riding in the car, put your hand just outside the car window (not so far out that you put yourself in danger) and leave it there for a while. Feel the wind whip over your skin, the strong currents hitting your palm and lifting your hand into the air. Feel the wind play with the little hairs on your forearm. Do you feel the tingling sensation? What do you think that tingling is? Right! It's energy… and you're tapping into it by playing with the Air currents.

What do you see? - Go outside on a nice day, lay down on the grass and watch the fluffy white clouds as they drift across the sky. Watch as they gently change shape. What different shapes do you see in the clouds? What does it make you think of?

Make a wish - Find a fluffy white dandelion and carefully pick it. Close your eyes and make a wish. Open your eyes and blow on the dandelion. The tale goes that if you can blow all of the little seeds off you dandelion in one breath, your wish will come true.

Fire is one of the things we need to survive. Oh, you don't think so? How would we live if we did not have fire? Could we even exist without Fire? Possibly, but it would be a miserable existence. Think about it. We wouldn't be able to cook our food, heat our homes, or see after dark. We would freeze in the Winter because we wouldn't have any electricity. We couldn't use metal to its full potential because there would be no way to get it out of the ore, or turn it into tools. We would be no better off than our Neanderthal ancestors were. And... all of our food would be raw, even the meat we eat!

Fire warms us, lights our nights, and cooks our food. Fire is not something to be afraid of, however, you must learn to respect it because if you don't, or you forget, you will get burned. Try to see visualize (see it, smell it, feel it, taste it, and touch it in your mind) each of the following... this will help you connect with the element of Fire...

    Warm air blowing from the furnace that heats your house.

    A candle flame.

    Roasting marshmallows on a campfire.

    A warm hug from a parent or grandparent.

    A forest fire.

    A hot cup of cocoa on a cold winter night.

    The smell of bacon frying in a pan.

    A stubborn person… why does that have anything to do with fire? Well, if a person is stubborn, that means they have a strong will or a passion to do something. Both Will and passion are qualities of fire.

Experiments with Fire

Feeling the energy of Fire - While drinking a hot cup of cocoa, place your hands around the cup and leave them there for a little while. Feel the heat sink into the palms of your hand. Place your hand on your arm or leg. Do you feel the warmth leave your palm and go into your arm or leg? What do you think that heat is? Right! It's energy… and you're tapping into it by holding the cup of hot liquid.

What do you see? - The next time your family makes a campfire, wait until the fire has burned down to just coals. Look into the coals and watch the way they change color and shape. What pictures do you see in the coals? What does it make you think of?

Make a wish - On your next birthday, Count the candles on your cake. Close your eyes and make a wish. Open your eyes and blow out the candles. The tale goes that if you can blow all of the candles out in one breath, your wish will come true.

Water is an element we cannot live without. Did you know that your body is over 70% water? You could live for many days without food if you had to, but a person can only go a couple days without water. Water quenches our thirst, washes us, and is the blood that runs through our veins. It is the liquid that gives plants what they need to grow, is home to more animal life than dry land is, and is what connects us to every other living thing on the planet. All life has water in common. Try to see visualize (see it, smell it, feel it, taste it, and touch it in your mind) each of the following... this will help you connect with the element of Water...

    Diving into a pool.

    A nice cold drink when you're thirsty.

    Walking in the rain.

    Playing in the sprinklers.

    Your favorite water ride at the local amusement park.

    Floating on your back in a lake or the ocean.

    Listening to a waterfall


Experiments with Water...

Feeling the energy of Air - While standing in the shower, turn around so the water splashes on your back and just stand there for a while. Feel the water hitting down on your skin, the little sting of the individual streams, the water running down your legs and pooling at your feet. Do you feel the tingling sensation? What do you think that tingling is? Right! It's energy... and you're tapping into it by standing in the Water.

What do you see? - Take a bowl and fill it a little over half full of water. Take some food color and drop it in one drop at a time. Watch the simple drops as they flow into the water and change shape. What different shapes do you see in the water? What does it make you think of? If the water becomes too dark to see through, look at the surface of the water and see if you see anything there.

Make a wish 1. Find a fountain and toss a penny into it. Make a wish when the water clears so you can see your reflection. The tale goes that since you have made an offering to the water fairies, they will make your wish come true.

Make A Wish 2. Find a small stream and a stick or a leaf. Holding the stick or leaf, close your eyes and make a wish. Toss it into the stream. The tale goes that the further away your stick or leaf floats before it stops, the more likely it is that your wish will come true.

Earth is probably the most important element. Earth gives us a strong foundation and holds our history, it grows our food and supports all life. What kind of an existence would we have without the element of Earth? Well, lets examine it. No earth, means no plants. No plants means no oxygen. No oxygen means no life; at least not as we know it. Try to see visualize (see it, smell it, feel it, taste it, and touch it in your mind) each of the following... this will help you connect with the element of Earth...

    The smell of freshly cut grass.

    Mud squishing between your toes.

    The feel of freshly turned dirt when you are planting.

    An earthworm wiggling on your palm.

    A new sprouting plant.

    Sitting in the shade of a tall oak tree.

    The cool mustiness of a cave.

    Feeling the rough texture of tree bark.

    Seeing the beauty of spring flowers.

    Watching a squirrel climbing a tree.


Experiments with Earth...

Feeling the energy of Earth - On a fine, warm day, go outdoors and lay down in the grass on your tummy. Feel the coolness of the grass and the solid feeling of the ground beneath you. Smell the earth and dig your fingers into the grass. Can you feel the Earth? Do you sense its rhythm? That's the energy of Earth!

What do you see? - Look at an old rock formation, like the ones in Arizona, or any place where the road cuts through the rocks. See the different shapes of the rocks and the different patterns of the layers of stone. What different shapes do you see in the stone? What does it make you think of?

Make a wish - Take a small piece of paper (3" X 5") and write a wish on it. Wrap it around a plant seed, either flower or vegetable, and plant it in the ground or in a flower pot. Water it and wait. The tale goes that as the new plant grows, your wish will come true.


The Moon


In historic times, when more people were attuned with Nature, the Moon was seen as a symbol of the Goddess. The light of the Moon was considered magickal, and a source of energy. Today, Wiccans still see the Moon as a symbol of the Goddess, its light is still considered magickal and we often practice magick or hold Ritual at a Full Moon to tap into this magickal energy.

There are myths and stories about the Moon in every part of the World.
This link has many of those stories that you may enjoy.

Every month, we can watch the Moon seem to change shape. This happens because as the Moon, the Earth, and the Sun dance in the sky together, the side of the Moon that is lit (illuminated) by the Sun changes place in comparison to where we are on the Earth.
(This link provides an animation of that.)

The different shapes it takes on are called "phases". The phases are as follows…

    New Moon - The Moon isn't visible (except during a solar eclipse).

    Waxing Moon - The Moon appears to be growing fuller during this time.

    Full Moon - The Moon is very bright and round.

    Waning Gibbous - The Moon appears to be growing smaller during this time.


Each phase of the moon can help Wiccans in different ways when they tap into its energy.

    New Moon - This is a good time to start something new.

    Waxing Moon - This is a good time to work on making things

    Full Moon - This is a good time to use the energy of the Moon to recharge any special tool that you have or just to celebrate the Goddess.

    Waning Moon - This is a good time to get rid of things (like bad habits).


The phases can be broken down even further into 8 phases…

    New Moon - The Moon's unlit side is facing the Earth and the lighted side of the Moon faces away from the Earth. This means that the Sun, Earth, and Moon are almost in a straight line, with the Moon in between the Sun and the Earth. The Moon is not visible (except during a solar eclipse).

    Waxing Crescent ("waxing" just means 'growing') - The Moon appears to be partly but less than one-half illuminated by direct sunlight. The fraction of the Moon's disk that is illuminated is growing. The crescent will grow larger and larger every day, until the First Quarter.

    First Quarter - One-half of the Moon appears to be illuminated by direct sunlight. The right half of the Moon appears lighted and the left side of the Moon appears dark. The lighted part of the Moon is still growing.

    Waxing Gibbous ("gibbous" means 'humpbacked') - The Moon appears to be more than one-half but isn't fully lit by direct sunlight. The illuminated section is still growing larger and will keep growing until the Full Moon.

    Full Moon - The lighted side of the Moon faces the Earth. This means that the Earth, Sun, and Moon are nearly in a straight line, with the Earth in the middle. The Moon that we see is very bright from the sunlight reflecting off it.

    Waning Gibbous ("waning" means 'shrinking') - The Moon appears to be more than one-half but not fully illuminated by direct sunlight. The part of the Moon that we can see is growing smaller and smaller every day.

    Last Quarter (Sometimes called Third Quarter) - One-half of the Moon appears to be illuminated by direct sunlight. The left half of the Moon appears lighted, and the right side of the Moon appears dark. The lit part of the Moon is still getting smaller and it will continue to shrink until the New Moon.

    Waning Crescent - The Moon appears to be partly but less than one-half illuminated by direct sunlight. The fraction of the Moon's disk that is illuminated is decreasing. This Moon can be seen after the Last Quarter Moon and before the New Moon. The crescent will grow smaller and smaller every day, until the Moon looks like the New Moon.

Would you like to see what phase of the moon you were born in?
This link will take you to a Moon Phase Calculator


The Sabbats

All religions or spiritual paths celebrate holidays that are special to their belief. The holidays are usually based on a calendar to tell you when they will be. (For instance, Valentines Day is on February 14th, but nobody knows exactly why that day was chosen). Wicca has its own unique holidays too and the day the holiday falls on is based on the cycles of nature. There are 8 Sabbats (or holidays) during the year for Wiccans. Four of these are called the 'Lesser Sabbats' and the other four are called the 'Greater Sabbats'

Let's look at the 'Lesser Sabbats' first... There are two days in the year when daylight and darkness are of equal length. These days are called Equinoxes. (Equinox just means that day and night are the same length) and they are the Spring Equinox (around March 21st) and the Autumn Equinox (around September 21st). Then, there are two days where the difference between dark and light are the greatest. These days are called Solstices (Solstice just means either of the two times of the year when the sun is at its greatest distance from the celestial equator) and they are the Summer Solstice (around June 21st) and the Winter Solstice (around December 21st).

And now for the 'Greater Sabbats'... The other four days are referred to as "the cross-quarter days" because they fall almost directly between the other days. There is Imbolg (February 2nd), Beltane (May 1st), Lughnasadh (August 2nd), and Samhain (October 31st).

Now that we know the names of the holidays, let's have a look at what we celebrating at each of them. The easiest way to see the holidays is by looking at a "Wheel of the Year"





The Winter Solstice, usually called Yule, is celebrated on December 21st, 22nd, or 23rd. It is the time to rejoice in the birth of the Sun King, decorate a tree for him and exchange blessings and presents.

Imbolg, which is celebrated on February 2nd is also called Candlemas. It is at this time that we light ritual fires to lure back the waxing sun. It is when the first stirrings of Spring are felt.


Spring Equinox is also called Ostara and is celebrated on March 21st, 22nd, or 23rd. Decorated eggs are the traditional symbol of Ostara, along with lilies and lambs. It is the time to 'plant' seeds to manifest changes in your life.


Beltane (or May Day as it is sometimes called) is celebrated on May 1st. It is a time to celebrate the marriage of the God and Goddess, fertility and new life. People dance around maypoles, light balefires and jump them for luck.


The Summer Solstice (also called Midsummer and Litha) falls on June 21st, 22nd, or 23rd. It is a celebration of the Sun God's peak of health and power. It also marks the time when the days begin to gradually get shorter.


Lughnasadh (pronounced Loo-na-saw), also called Lammas is celebrated on July 31st, August 1st, or August 2nd. It is the first of the three harvest festivals and marks the harvesting of grains.



The Autumn Equinox (often called Mabon) occurs on September 21st, 22nd, or 23rd. This is the second of the three harvest festivals and is the time when fruits and vegetables are harvested. It is the Witches' Thanksgiving.


Samhain (pronounced 'sow-in') is also called All Hallows Eve (or Halloween) and is celebrated on October 31st. It is the third of three harvest festivals and marks the time for harvesting meat. The Celtic New Year, this is a time for renewal and ridding yourself of bad habits or unwanted things. It is also a time to remember those who passed over.




Crafts

Please note that all crafts listed on this page are intended to be done with parental supervision and assistance

The Elements...

Help your child connect with the elements by encouraging them to draw a picture of each element.

Give your child old magazines to look through for pictures that represent different facets of each element or surf the internet with them and print out pictures. Have them cut out the pictures and paste them on a sheet of paper or an 8 1/2 X 11 inch piece of poster board.

Hang each elemental drawing or collage on the corresponding wall in your child's room to help them connect the elements with the quarters. This is also a good way to help them begin to understand casting circles.


The Moon...

Help your child create a special calendar all their own.

Draw the phases of the moon on a calendar page for your child to color each day.

Homemade Face Paint

1 teaspoon cornstarch

1/2 teaspoon cold cream

1/2 teaspoon water

Food coloring

Mix the cornstarch and the cold cream together. Add the water and stir. Add the food coloring one drop at a time until it is the shade you want. Do this for each color that you want. Paint on the child's face with a small paintbrush. Store in an airtight container.

Homemade Sidewalk Chalk

You will need

1 cup warm water

about 1 1/2 - 2 cups Plaster of Paris

Powdered or liquid tempera paint

Disposable plastic container, like a large yogurt or cottage cheese container

Large plastic spoon for stirring

Molds for sidewalk chalk. You can use small paper cups, egg cartons, small yogurt containers, or duct tape and toilet paper rolls.

Directions...

1. Prepare the molds ahead of time. If you are using the toilet paper rolls. Wrap duct tape around the rolls and cover one end of the tube. (The cardboard will disintegrate if you don't use the duct tape). Line the tubes with waxed paper to prevent the chalk from sticking. If the egg cartons aren't the slick Styrofoam kind, You can line them with plastic wrap to prevent sticking also.

2. Pour the warm water into the disposable container. Stir in small amounts of Plaster of Paris until the water doesn't absorb any more powder. The mixture should be the consistency of frosting - stiff, but still easily stirred.

3. Add a few teaspoons of tempera paint. For pastel colors, mix colors with white tempera. Stir thoroughly for solid-colored chalk or leave swirled for a marbled look.

4. Pour the mixture into the molds. Let hem dry completely. This can take anywhere from half an hour to a day or more depending on humidity and amount of water in the mixture.

5. Remove the chalk from the molds and it's ready to use.

Colored Play Dough

You will need...

1 cup flour

1 tbsp vegetable oil

1 cup water

1/2 cup salt

2 tsp. cream of tartar

Food coloring

Directions...

Mix all ingredients in saucepan. Heat, stirring constantly until ball forms. Knead until smooth.

Tambourine

You will need:

Paper or Plastic Plates (I prefer plastic because they are sturdier)

Jingle Bells

Curling Ribbon

Scissors

Hole punch

Sturdy String

Directions...

1. Punch holes all around a paper plate.

2. Push the base of a jingle bell through each hole

3. String a continuous piece of the sturdy string through the base of all the bells, tying a knot on each base (this will make a circle of string around the bottom of the plate).

4. Tie curling ribbon onto the ribbon that’s holding on the bells.

5. Cut long pieces of curling ribbon. and tie to the string holding the bells to the plate (either all in one place or all around the plate as you like). Curl with scissors.

A couple of my favorite websites for finding children's craft ideas are...

Kids Domain (loads of great craft ideas)

Pioneer Thinking (lots of recipes for making paint, clay and other fun things)

Creative Kids At Home (many activities, crafts, and science projects for kids)


Rites of Passage

The following is an example of a Rite of Passage that, as parents, you may want to utilize for your children. Feel free to change anything about these as you see fit (or to not even use them at all). The idea is just to provide you an idea of what special rituals can be done for you child as they grow.

Wiccaning

Altar is set in the East, the place of new beginnings.
Circle is cast with smudge and feather
All participants are welcomed into circle (after cutting an appropriate doorway) and blessed with smudge and feather...

Priestess: Let us now summon the Elements.
Priest: Watchtowers of the East we call you forth. Archangel Raphael, we ask you to come and bear witness to this rite. Bring to this child your gifts of healing, compassion and humor.
Priestess: Watchtowers of the South we call you forth. Archangel Michael, we ask you to come and bear witness to this rite. Bring to this child your gifts of protection, mercy and defense.
Priest: Watchtowers of the West we call you forth. Archangel Gabriel, we ask you to come and bear witness to this rite. Bring to this child your gifts of hope and messages of the divine.
Priestess: Watchtowers of the North we call you forth. Archangel Uriel, we ask you to come and bear witness to this rite. Bring to this child your gifts of nature, mystery, and writing.

Parents: Call forth Ancestors and Ancients in their own words.

Priest and Priestess: Call the God and Goddess (We used The Ones who are known by many names, but you may use whichever Deities you are comfortable with.)

Priest: We gather as family, with our Ancestors present, Understanding that we have known each other in previous lives. We join here today; before the Elements, the Archangels and The God and Goddess to introduce this child, conceived and brought forth in love, to all who attend this rite. He (or she) is now known as "child's given name", but until he (or she) is old enough to choose a name for himself (or herself), in Circle he (or she) shall be called "child's Craft name".

Priestess: There are many paths, and each must find his own; therefore we do not seek to bind "child's Craft name" to one path while he (or she) is still too young to choose. Rather we ask the Goddess and the God, who know all paths and to whom all paths lead, to bless, protect and prepare him (or her) through the years of his (or her) childhood; so that when at last he (or she) is truly grown, he (or she) shall know without doubt or fear which path is his (or hers) and shall tread it gladly. And until that time, we ask now that the elemental powers watch over him (or her).

Participant 1: O winds of the East , who bring forth freshness, life, and joy... cast your blessings upon this child and become a friend to him (or her)!
Participant 2: O warm sun and warm skies of the South, bringing life anew, the growth of all things, and promise of the future, cast your blessings upon this child and become a friend to him (or her)!
Participant 3: O cool lakes and deep seas of the West, waters soft and giving of fresh life, cast your blessings upon this child and become a friend to him (or her)!
Participant 4: O mighty mountains of the North, meadows of green and Caves that are the womb of our Mother, cast your blessings upon this child and become a friend to him (or her)!

All who are present in the circle now come forth and offer their 'gifts' (whether physical gifts or spiritual blessings) to the child.

Cakes and Ale ceremony... which consists of blessing both the cake and the ale (usually a fruit juice of some kind) and then passing it around the circle to all participants, saying "May you never hunger" or "May you never thirst"...

Priest and Priestess: Thank the God and Goddess in their own words

Parents: Thank the Ancestors in their own words

Participant 4: Element of the North we thank you for the gifts you have brought to "child's Craft name"
Priestess: Watchtowers of the North we thank you for your presence. Archangel Uriel , may your gifts remain with "child's Craft name" throughout his (or her) life. As you make your way back to your fair and lovely realm, we bid you Hail and Farewell.

Participant 3: Element of the West we thank you for the gifts you have brought to "child's Craft name"
Priest: Watchtowers of the West we thank you for your presence. Archangel Gabriel , may your gifts remain with "child's Craft name" throughout his (or her) life. As you make your way back to your fair and lovely realm, we bid you Hail and Farewell.

Participant 2: Element of the South we thank you for the gifts you have brought to "child's Craft name"
Priestess: Watchtowers of the South we thank you for your presence. Archangel Michael , may your gifts remain with "child's Craft name" throughout his (or her) life. As you make your way back to your fair and lovely realm, we bid you Hail and Farewell.

Participant 1: Element of the East we thank you for the gifts you have brought to "child's Craft name"
Priest: Watchtowers of the East we thank you for your presence. Archangel Raphael , may your gifts remain with "child's Craft name" throughout his (or her) life. As you make your way back to your fair and lovely realm, we bid you Hail and Farewell.

Sing Circle Open (usually, our group sings the following chant... "May the circle be open, but unbroken. May the peace of the Goddess be ever in your heart. Merry Meet and Merry Part and Merry Meet Again!"

Click here to read A Young Person's Rite Of Passage Ritual


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©2002 - 2008 Rev. Angel Shultz